A New Venue for Christ: Social Networking and Your Words

Philippians 2: 14-16a "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life."
Ladies, if you are reading this blog, you have more than likely joined the ever growing population of Facebookers.  This relatively "newer" area of social networking has far reaching effects.  When we post a new status update, share a picture or comment in a thread, it is read by far more people than phone calls or face to face conversations ever affected.  Within seconds, people can learn about your day, your mood, your prayer requests, your needs, your questions, or your schedule.
With this new source of information and entertainment come responsibilities.  Being Christian women, our Facebook posts should look different from those of our non-Christian friends.  I have seen many uses for Facebook, and I want to explore some of the worldly and godly behaviors that result.  I pray this discussion will help all of us to think twice about what we portray, share and tell.

I Timothy 6:6  "But godliness with contentment is great gain."
First of all, many people can use Facebook to gripe or complain.  I am guilty of this.  If one of my kids comes down with something or I have a flat tire, I want to vent on Facebook.  I want everyone to know how truly horrible my day has been.  I believe that we can be real and share requests of challenges we are facing, but we have to check our motives and the attitude we are portraying.  If we are sharing practical needs, asking for prayer and seeking God's will in a situation, we should share away!  It is when we have a negative, discontent and frustrated tone that our post has wandered into sinful territory. 
This especially applies to what we share about our husbands.  If we are unhappy that our husband is late from work, don't write on your husband's wall, "Where are you??????  Dinner is ready."  You have effectively disrespected your husband in front of hundreds of people.  If you are telling a story in which your husband did something silly or stupid, don't post it!  No spouse want his wife to belittle him in front of others.  An example of this could be as simple as posting a picture of your lobster red son and the caption, "Johnny has quite the sunburn!  Jeff forgot to pack the sunscreen on our trip to the beach. Ouch!"  This sounds silly, but, for the sake of a laugh or chuckle, you have thrown your husband under the bus.  This is not godly, respectful or loving behavior. 

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Besides griping and negativity, Facebook can produce feelings of jealousy and bitterness.  It sounds extreme, but, ladies, how many of you have seen a post about a girls' night out you weren't asked to attend or have seen pictures of a shower or party to which you were not invited and have felt sinful, selfish thoughts about how you have been treated?  I know there was a particular day that I was sinning in my attitude against my husband.  Of coure, satan jumped on that and all my friends seemed to post about how their husbands had bought coffee for them or let them sleep in.  Pictures of flowers "just because" popped up everywhere, and before I knew it, my bitterness and jealousy were in full bloom--fed by my sinful thoughts upon reading Facebook posts.  On the flip side of the same coin, do not use Facebook as a popularity contest.  Don't compare numbers of friends, post about every social outing you attend to make people see how "popular" and socially in demand you have become.  If you think a particular social event was limited and small, you might want to just thoughtfully mention you had a good night out with friends.  Name dropping and mentioning events so you puff yourself up in your own eyes is never becoming for a daughter of Christ.

Psalm 12:3 "May the Lord cut off all flattering lips and every boastful tongue."
II Corinthians 10:17 "But, 'Let him who boasts boast in the LORD.'"
This is a great transition to discussing how we can sin through bragging on Facebook.  We should share in great things God is doing in our lives and rejoice with our kids or hubbies when they are blessed with success.  However, again, we must check our heart motive before we post anything on our status update.  Are all our posts about how Johnny and Jane got straight A's again and got MVP of their sports team?  Do we read most of our wall and realize they talk about praising our kids, sharing our spouse's job promotion and talking about all the ways we served at church that week?  This is a gray area, and many posts of praise and rejoicing are just purely sharing good news with friends.  However, it is a fine line between that and bragging--be careful how you are portraying yourself.  A great way to check your motives is to make sure your boasts point to God.  We can better share success if we give all the credit and glory to God, making sure we know that all our abilities, blessings and possessions are His and His alone!

I John 2:10 "Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble."
Finally, a fourth area in which we must tread carefully is our reputation.  There are gray areas that might be better left off of your public wall.  Facebook can be used as a witnessing tool and way to shine light to the lost world, so you have to be overly cautious when you put anything on Facebook.  Why would you post a picture of yourself in that skimpy bikini for all of the guys who you have as friends to view?  Why would that picture of you holding a beer at that birthday party make it onto your photos?  We know that there are many activities that are not spelled out to be wrong in the Bible, but we can stumble others by parading our freedom to do these activities.  Be careful!  Your effective witness could be tarnished by a simple post that forever sticks in the mind of an unsaved friend.

Galatians 5:22-25 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."
How should we behave?  Look at your recent posts and comments.  Are you sharing scripture?  Are you encouraging your spouse and lifting him up?  Are you encouraging a friend and strengthening her with Bible verses or sermon links?  Are you thanking the LORD for the blessings you mention in a post?  Are you, without a doubt, the aroma of Christ to those who are friends with you on Facebook?  Ladies, if we use Facebook correctly, it is one of the most wonderful opportunities to shine for God, encourage our spouse and build up friends!  Let us examine our hearts, and use Facebook, yes, even Facebook, for His glory!

Bridled or Burning: A Discussion on the Tongue

James 3:1-5 "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!"

James 3:1-5 gives us excellent instruction on using our tongue. Ladies, these verses affect us greatly, as we certainly love to use our words, don't we? James shows us that we can use our words under 3 influences. The illustrations begin positively and self controlled, while they end both undirected and completely sinful.
First, verse 2 uses the word "bridle." In Greek, this word means to be self-controlled. When we put on the Spirit led fruit of self control, we are putting our whole body under His direction, including our tongue. Notice the words that accompany the example of the horse in verse 3. The horse "obeys" and is "guided." Here, the example is of a productive, work-enabling horse. The bit, or tongue, is completely controlled by the driver, the Holy Spirit. The horse not only allows the driver to direct the bit, but his whole body as well. In this example, God's purpose is obeyed and the words spoken help to do God's will.
In verse 4, our tongue is compared to the rudder on a ship. It is a small, powerful tool that directs the whole vessel. Once again, it is driven by the pilot (Holy Spirit) to go in the direction the Spirit wills and intends, but, in this example, there are forces introduced that are working against the Spirit. The strong, powerful winds also move the ship. The winds do not have an organized, productive course, but they are haphazard and unpredictable. These are much like our emotions and fleshly, sinful impulses. Here, we are allowing sin to interrupt our course and not obey God's will for us in speech and deed.
Finally, verse 5 illustrates our tongue as an aimless, destructive, uncontrolled fire that destroys whole forests at a time. Here, there is no director, no course, no productive employ. Instead, only destructive forces reign. This is the tongue of one who does not have the influence or is blocking the influence of the Holy Spirit. God's will is not done, and He is scorned by sinful words and actions.
Clearly, our tongues are small, but powerful forces. Consider the three illustrations. Are you the Spirit led "horse" that obediently and patiently labors for the good of God in your words and deed? Are you the lukewarm ship that sometimes successfully stays on course with the "Captain of the ship" but, at other times, tosses to and fro with the wind and waves of emotion? Rather, are you most like the painful, destructive force of fire, continually eating away at others and destroying them with your careless, boasting and selfish words?
Christian wives, I think most of us sadly identify with the ship. We desire to let God lead our life, direct our course and influence our words and tongue. At many times, we do! However, our sinful flesh sometimes overtakes us like a sudden storm on a rough sea. We find ourselves lashing out at our kids in frustration, grumbling to our friends about a situation in which we are discontent, boasting to someone in a moment of selfish ambition, or slandering someone who has slighted us.
This is unacceptable for daughters of God. We should pursue holiness in our speech. Like the horse, we need to bridle our sinful emotions and impulses with the fruit of self control. We need to utilize the direction of the Holy Spirit and be saturated with the Word of God to influence our attitudes and words. As we die to self, the sinful winds will abate and the Captain of the ship will faithfully steer us through life as we traverse His path for us.
Sisters, our words will look like the command of Ephesians 4:29 as we seek to have our words like the bit of the horse--completely controlled by the Holy Spirit.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Encouragement, loving admonishment and Biblical wisdom will cover every word and conversation. There will be no mistaking we are His daughters by the very words we speak! Together, let us bridle our words and give the reigns to our loving and faithful God. Let us confess when we sin in speech and thank Him for the direction and help He has given us in the counsel of the Holy Spirit and the instruction of His word.