Holiness

From my post back on 10-5-07

Preparing for an upcoming women's Bible study, I was studying the passage of I Peter 1:13-21. The theme of the passage is holiness. It says,

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not confrom to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. but just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.' Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious bloodof Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God, who
raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in
God."

Holiness. It is a word that seems anything but us. That is because, unfortunately, it is often the case. However, as this passage explains, we should strive to identify with and master the practice of holiness. We have God's example and Spirit to help us. Are we actively seeking such holiness in our lives?

First, we are told, in verse 13, to prepare our minds for action and to control ourselves. This is not an exercise in passivity. We must prepare ourselves by knowing God's will, rules and characteristics. Think of all the tests or sports for which you might have prepared yourself over the years. Hopefully, you did not spend 5 minutes reviewing notes or running laps and think, "I hope I can pray tonight that God will help me in this area and I will succeed tremendously tomorrow." More than likely, you spent hours studying, days training, or even years preparing yourself for an ultimate goal. Not that God can't do it alone, but He asks that we seek Him and run the race in perserverance. Are we putting that kind of effort into attaining holiness?

This sounds hard. It is. It is work, but our hope in our salvation and grace before God's throne should give us joy, motivation and endurance in the midst of the training.  Plus, when we are obediently pursuing righteousness, God is there providing the correct heart, motivation and strength.  The fact our sin is nailed to the cross, paid in full by Christ, and we are a new creation in Him should give us the realization that He will not abandon us in the pursuit of holiness. 

God tells us we can't expect to be holy if we conform to the world. (verse 14) This is such a convicting statement for all of us. We might pride ourselves on not partying, swearing, stretching our credit cards, or cheating on our taxes, but how much of a stranger are you in society? Do you know what characters are on that television show you shouldn't be watching? Do you read gossip magazines or watch media shows on television that might qualify as gossip? What line do you draw when going to or renting a movie? The line should be pure holiness.

You might say, "I can't ever see a movie then! Hollywood doesn't make movies that are holy!" Well, there might be a very, very select few, but, perhaps this means we shouldn't be joining in this practice if we can't be holy in doing it. Believe me, this is a scary thought for me. I love to be a chair potato and watch movies to relax. However, holiness is not about comfort. It is all about sacrificing the pleasures of this world and wanting to please the Father we adore and love.

The verses tell us to fear God. (verse 17) We need to realize that holiness is a command, not a polite, passive request. We also need to recognize God's qualities. Think of the strongest, most mighty thing you can imagine--a gigantic mountain in the Sierras, the roaring ocean, a thunder and lightning storm, a howling hurricane, a screaming tornado, a hissing, spitting volcano of lava and ash, an angry earthquake, a scorching sun, the chasms of the Grand Canyon, or a vast, unexplorable universe. These are God's creation. Think of who He must be in order to speak and create such wonders. We don't fear God enough because we don't take the time to understand His capabilities, His characteristics and qualities. This affects our obedience and urgency when we error in our understanding of who God really is.

What will you do to pursue holiness today? You recognize, if you are a Christian, that Christ painfully poured out His life and rose again, in order that you and I might be reconciled to our mighty Creator. (verses 18-19) Our humble thankfulness and love should spur immediate action. Make a plan with specific details. Cut out that television show, throw away the magazine with gossip that enslaves you, change the conversation when a friend starts disparaging another friend, tell a friend to hold you accountable to not practicing a particular bad habit, and PRAY FOR GOD'S HELP in revealing sin and giving you motivation and strength to change the error into holy behavior.

Be holy because He is holy. He is our precious, all-powerful, loving, righteous, merciful, gracious, perfect, all-knowing, all-present, eternal, unchanging, and HOLY God. Be holy because He asks you to be. That is motivation enough.  In the light of the cross and what He paid for us, the motivation is MORE than enough.

Tipping the Scales in Favor of Spiritual Growth

Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised"

The other day, I was lamenting the fact that, due to having a 4 and 1 year old, most of my mornings find me running out the door with wet hair and "mom" clothes. If I were honest, though, the fact I consistently appear less dazzling doesn't mean I still don't desire to be put together, have those cute outfits and perfectly coiffed hair.
Ladies, we all spend inordinate amounts of time on our appearance. You might shake your head no and insist you've never been one for makeup and clothes, but there are various facets of taking care of your appearance. Where do you spend your time: shopping for clothes, getting fresh makeup, painting your nails, going to hair appointments and styling your hair, pouring over fashion magazines, dieting, exercising, or even just unconsciously sizing up other women on what they are wearing or how they look? Even if this is all in balance and vanity is not a sin issue, we all must admit we enjoy looking nice.
However, as Christian women, what is more important--our exterior appearance or our inward character? Did you spend as much time in the Word or studying godliness as you did doing ANY or all of the above today? If we are honest, many women fall short of spending as much time on inward sanctification as they do on making their outward appearance beautiful.
We definitely need to take care of the bodies God gave us and look attractive for our husbands, but this pales in comparison to our need to pursue holiness before our Creator.
I thought of a silly illustration: Imagine I buy my husband a work shirt so he can look nice at work. I want him to look put together at his meetings and to be thought of as a professional by his bosses. What if he started obsessing about the shirt instead of his actual work? He suddenly spent inordinate amounts of time ironing, washing, resewing buttons, and smoothing his shirt. He even suddenly started working less on projects at work because he wanted to spend more time taking care of his precious shirt at work. What? That is just silliness and completely misusing the gift I gave him! In fact, it is taking away from the exact purpose of my gift--to be a professional, hard worker!
That is what we are doing to a degree when we take the gift of our bodies and spend inordinate amounts of time on fleshly desires rather than on the spiritual needs and purposes that God gives us. Our over-focus on the gift and not adequately doing our spiritual jobs is silly and misplaced.
In addition, as Proverbs 31:30 reminds us, when we become overly interested in staying beautiful and physically perfect, we are bound to be disappointed. As my pastor says, we are all bananas. We are unripe for days on end, beautiful and "perfect" in appearance for what seems a couple of hours, and rotting, ugly fruit going downhill for the remainder of our earthly time. The beauty fades, but time invested in sanctification and holiness will never be wasted or wane.
Ladies, don't necessarily stop spending time getting ready and put together each morning (though we can all double check how much of our time that encompasses), but make sure that your number one time and mind-set priority is delving into the Word of God and pursuing ways to do God's will for you.

There is a Friend

Proverbs 18:24 "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

As women, we know that friendship is an important part of our lives. We are blessed to know that the Bible has much to say concerning friendship and those we choose as friends.

Not surprisingly, the Bible is concerned with our holiness and God's glory, not with our popularity or self promotion. This flies in the face of the goals of the world, where ladies dress, speak and act in ways that will allow them to be accepted by the most people.

Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." It reminds us that the secret is not to gather as many friends as possible, but, rather, we are to find a true friend who will be a friend through all seasons, a friend who sticks closer than a brother. A true agape love of sacrificial consideration will be the foundation for this friendship--a Philippians 2 type of mentality.

Most of all, though, this friend needs to primarily love God and seek His glory above all else. Even our choice in friends needs to be rooted in righteousness and wisdom. Philippians 12:26 explains, "A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." We all know that we are affected by the words and actions of those closest to us. God reminds us that a righteous man cautiously chooses with whom he will fellowship, but sinners haphazardly befriend whomever comes along, being led further astray by the other sinners with whom they party, gossip and "hang."

How do we know if our friends truly love God and want to glorify Him? Proverbs gives us some insight into their actions and words.

Proverbs 27:6 tells us, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." The idea of a friend wounding us doesn't sound very, well, friendly; but what the Word of God is saying is that a friend will tell us truth and admonish us. We need to find friends who use scripture, not opinion, to encourage, counsel and correct us. On the other hand, God tells us that "friends" who flatter us time and time again, even when we are sinning, are our enemy! They cannot be trusted because they are not concerned with the righteousness of God. If your friends are not confronting you in love, you are not growing and they are not spurring you on to be like Christ.

Proverbs 22:4 explains further, "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered." Are we all going to have moments where we sin in anger? Unfortunately, we are. I pray we are all growing in this area. However, the Bible warns us about befriending someone with patterns of anger in them. Do you have a friend who is always put off, offended, feeling slighted, bitter or holding grudges? Like a hot-tempered person, this type of friend is concerned about themselves, not God. When we see patterns of sensitivity, bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness, we know that an individual is concerned about her own feelings rather than God's commands. She needs a good dose of humility and repentance before she will be a righteous and fruitful friend.

Finally, Proverbs 27:9 says, "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel." Earnest counsel means telling the truth when advice is being given. As Christians, we define truth as Biblical truth. Are your friends giving you opinions or looking to God's Word to give you wisdom and answers? There is no other compass to follow than the Bible. If a friend is steering you by popular opinion or feelings, then this is not a friend who gives earnest counsel. In God's Word, we see what a disaster bad counsel can bring when Solomon's son, Rehoboam, leans on the opinion of his young, foolish "friends" rather than the wise, tested counsel of his father's elders. (I Kings 12) This lapse in judgement of his friends ulimately caused the separation of Israel from the tribe of Judah. The counsel you receive is very important, so do not underestimate the effect your friends' words have on your behavior.

Ultimately, ask yourself this, "Do my friends put God first in their lives? Do I see fruit in their actions and speech? Do I constantly feel guilty and ashamed or edified and built up in God when I leave after time with my friends?

Is there a place for non-Christians in our lives? Of course there is! We are to have aquantainces with whom we can share the gospel. Our time spent with them should primarily be just this--sharing the gospel and witnessing of their need for a Savior. They should not be our best friend, and we should not be walking into sin with them so we can "be their friend" in hopes of one day bringing them to Christ. Just as "missionary dating" doesn't work, having good friends who are lost in their sin never pans out either. You, as a Christian, are living for and serving God. You are an alien of this world. They are children of darkness and living for themselves. They hate the light and find little issue with sin. How can we be so unequally yoked? The truth is, we can't without compromise and sin on our own part.

It might seem a bit daunting to shake up some of your friendships and seek out godly ones who desire righteousness for themselves and you. It is vital, though. The Bible urges us to seek out friends cautiously because it is so important. Desire a love for God, righteousness, love, faithfulness and humility in your friends. If you seek God's wisdom and leading, you will find there is such a friend waiting to meet you.

Ephesians 5
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.[a] 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

A Word of Gratitude

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

When was the last time you intentionally said thank you to your spouse? I am not talking about a simple "thanks" as he passes you a plate. I am talking about actually thinking about how you can encourage your spouse, picking a time when he can focus on what you are saying and telling him how much you appreciate him for doing x, y, and z.

Ryan and I have a list of thanks on our linen closet that we fill out each week. The thanks is both to God and some to our spouse. I get so encouraged when we read it during our Bible study together and Ryan has specifically thanked me for something I have done around the house or with the kids. It acknowledges my hard work and helps me to feel appreciated. Though I should do my tasks as unto the Lord and not expect a thank you, it sure does spur me on to do more when I know Ryan has noticed my labor.

I am sure we all have plenty of requests and suggestions for our spouse. Make sure you punctuate the day with meaningful thank yous to him as well.

Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down,
but a good word makes him glad.

A New Attitude

I'm packing this week, and I came across an old praise tape I had as a kid--yes it was a tape, circa 1980, so I was happy it was still working. We have great praise music CDs, but for nostalgia's sake, I made a point to put the tape in my car and have my kids listen to it as we were driving. I found myself singing along, praises pouring out of my mouth and heart to God--all to the tune of kids' music. Shortly into the drive, I heard my son's sweet little 4 year old voice picking up the chorus and joining in the song. We smiled, clapped and sang as we drove, arriving at our destination with joy and praise in our hearts. My singing and happy attitude initiated a great morning for my kids.

We've all heard the phrase, "When momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Despite it's grammatical flaws, it is sadly true. Proverbs 21:19 puts it this way, "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife." Women, we have a profound influence on the mood and temperment in our home. We can choose to be purposeful in our praise, thankfulness and kindness; or we can choose to be surly, stressed and annoyed. We can reflect the righteousness of our Heavenly Father or the corrupt and rotten desires of our sinful flesh. Either way, our mood vastly affects our husband and kids. Proverbs 15:30 tells us that even a look can affect others. Studying positive influences, it says, "A cheerful look brings joy to the heart."

Considering this, I recently noticed that my mornings were often rushed, frantic and crazy. The problem was that I was trying to get myself ready at the same time that I was getting my four year old and one year old ready for the day. Inevitably, something would go awry, we would end up running late, and the morning would be punctuated with my sighs, frustration and complaining. We would finally get in the car to rush to where we were going, and my kids would both be sulking and quiet in the back of the car--casualties of my impatience and annoyance.

In an effort to adjust my attitude to be righteous and pleasing to God, I decided to get up earlier to fit my quiet time and shower in BEFORE the boys got up in the morning. This has been decidedly helpful. With less rush, I have sinned less in my attitude and words.

Is there a time every day when you find your attitude is habitually unrighteous and affecting your family in an ungodly manner? Do you need to adjust your schedule or make sure you have a time of prayer before a stressful part of your day? Do you need to confess some sinful attitude to an accountability partner or memorize some scripture to help replace a bad attitude with righteous behavior? Have you asked your spouse if he notices a trend in a time of the day or schedule when you are prone to sin in your attitude?

Be purposeful and proactive in dealing with this particular venue of sin. Let's strive to be helpmates with attitudes that reflect the character of our Lord and Savior.

Proverbs 31:12 "She brings him good, not harm,all the days of her life."